Tantric Advice For Men – 3 Ways How To Last Longer In Bed
A common question I receive after holding lectures about erotic Tantra is how to last longer in bed. Many men come to me asking about tips and tricks and how to avoid premature ejaculation.
You are not alone! Many men suffer from premature ejaculation. This is due largely to the fact that our sexuality is much less refined and sensitive than the sexuality of women.
Their skin can feel twice as many nuances as the skin of men, they can differentiate between many different types of orgasms (i.e., the clitoral, vaginal, g-spot, urinary orgasm, anal orgasm etc) while we men usually just have one type of orgasm: The quick spasmic orgasm related with our ejaculation. Women involve themselves more deeply in the sexual act than men, involving their emotional being completely in the act.
Women can last much longer in bed than men. Where the average man now a days lasts 7 minutes a woman can make love for hours!
But do not worry! There are certain steps and frames of mind to follow which can make us as strong as women in this regard. The main steps are in my experience the following:
1) Sensitivity – Men have to learn to become more sensitive
2) Masculinity – By becoming more masculine we last longer as well
3) Energy – we need to comprehend how the human energetic system is built up
The best results come from using all keys simultaneously, though good results can come by studying one of the aspects alone.
Step 1: Building Up Sensitivity
Men need to focus very much on the foreplay. When the man sacrifices his own drive for gratification by focusing on the woman’s needs in the foreplay, he will open his heart and sublimate (as it is called in Tantra) his sexual energy to the heart area.
The heart and the skin are affective organs which are highly linked. When the man opens in the heart his skin will also become more open and sensitive. By opening his heart the man becomes more open to other kinds of stimulation and not so focused on the stimulation of the genital area.
Massage is one of the best ways to open up the man and to channel his energies away from the genital region. It is recommended that the man start by massaging his partner. This will open his heart and his skin. In this way he is ready to receive the massage from the woman.
Step 2: Masculinity and virility
If you want to last longer in bed a good place to begin is by increasing your masculinity and virility. Being virile is not only a question of having a strong erection.
By virility I mean virility as a kind of power the man must have: He has to be strong, to know what he wants and to know how to get what he wants. Such a man has a strong masculine centre which creates a strong polarity with his loved one. If he is strong and masculine the woman will become more feminine and open and the lovemaking more intense. Often I see in couples that the man has become weak and the woman naturally takes the masculine role to compensate for the lacking polarity. This makes her unhappy as her nature is to be the woman.
This lack of masculinity in men is easy to see at our courses. Women often sit straight and are very attentive in their listening while the men often lie on their backs and actually fall asleep. It should be the other way around, men sitting straight actively trying to understand the knowledge and how it can be applied.
It is a natural masculine quality to have a good overview of the terrain. Men should have a clear idea of where they are going and also what they would like to achieve in the relationship. Men should know their goals and attempt as well as they can to achieve these goals. This turns the man from being a victim to being someone who is actively engaging with life which is feminine in its essence.
Understanding this aspect of masculinity a man will become strong and very attractive to women. This kind of deep inner strength will also make the man more virile and able to last longer in bed.
Step 3: Understanding Energy
Understanding your energetic build up will allow you to guide you and your partners energies in the love making process and also allow you to last longer in bed. This is a big topic and I can only mention it shortly to open your eyes to the subject. The two major philosophies which offer guidelines in how to work with energy are Taoism and Tantra. As I am a tantric I will give you the tantric model.
The human being contains all kinds of different energies ranging from vital energies, sexual energies, psychic energies etc. These energies are categorized into earth energies, water energies, fire energies, air energies and ether energies. The focal points of each of these energies are placed in energetic vortexes (called chakras) placed along our spine.
The idea is that there are certain lovemaking positions correlated with each of these chakras and that these lovemaking positions should be made in the right order. This will channel the energies correctly, prolong the lovemaking act for hours and lead to deep states of bliss and ecstasy.
Your partner will love you for it! She will be utterly amazed as this knowledge will awaken both of your energetic systems in the correct and natural way. For a deeper understanding of these energies and their relation to the human psyche I recommend a study of the chakra system as they are described in the ancient philosophies of Yoga and Tantra.
Conclusion
By applying yourself in any of these 3 areas depending on what interests you, I can guarantee that you will get quick results and that you will not be disappointed.
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