» Marriage

Underlying Factors Involving Marital Affairs

John Miller — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 10:59:31 +0000

by John Miller

Marriage turns sour and marital affairs do not end with a failed marriage. It always takes two people to form such union, and takes the same people to fail at said relationship. The tragic drama lies in some underlying factors which manifest in such a relationship. Having an affair is something that happens between two people and this is a special relationship that may develop even deeper.

Relationships come and go but it is truly different if marital affairs are involved. An unhappy marriage can rock the entire cosmos and this becomes too hard for one who wants to get out but cannot due to some traditions. By understanding the motivations behind the affair, an unexpected severance can be easily healed. Rebuilding ones personal well-being may not be difficult for some rational beings though it takes time to erase a scarred spirit.

This is nothing but utter hypocrisy! It is too difficult for a couple to maintain a public image of being married just to please society where they belong. Society can sometimes be cruel and one who is trapped in an intolerable union by reason of a legal impediment will have to become a prisoner by personal choice for fear of being ostracized. But the show must go on and a display of public affection though a bit awkward may often be made.

Normally, it is the male who initiates the break up and the poor wife has to hang on for the sake of the children and the marriage itself. Mens behaviors are often hard to decode and marital affairs are influenced by their actuations. An affair can help a marriage if one can comprehend its implications at its deepest degree. In a marital union where one or both of the parties have unmet needs and unexpressed desires intimacy may not exist and a sexual detour is likely to manifest.

Issues involving marital affairs are too private and extra-marital affairs can develop hidden from the prying eyes of the critical public. However, a real marriage in the truest sense of the word may begin if the married people have come to realize the effects of such outside relationship and decide to let bygones be bygones and pledge to give love a second chance. As they say: Love is lovelier the second time around. This second chance can be the commencement of real and deep marital affairs.

About the Author:

Marital affairs regardless of its degree do not always end with failed marriage. But it can be so destructive at one point thus it really is worth the effort to know some underlying factors involving it. If you wish to know more about this, simply visit www.relationshiptrust.com

Sad Realities of Emotional Infidelity

John Miller — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 12:38:42 +0000

by John Miller

One may stay married only in paper and by name but emotional infidelity exists in some remote space where one is enjoying the comfort of being loved and appreciated from an outside party. Emotional marriage which is a product of emotional infidelity becomes an incredible union especially between two strangers who, by some amazing accident, happen to cross their paths. In most cases, emotional infidelity has become the best remedy for one who is nursing a terrible shock and pain of a broken heart. Someone out there somewhere helps one picks up the pieces of a shattered ego.

The feeling of belongingness to someone who cares and loves you is indeed an unimaginable experience. No amount of money can equate that enormous happiness of knowing that you are still a person capable of loving and being equally loved in return. Love is the most mysterious emotion that can move heaven and earth and move mountains. Being loved and needed is such a wonderful feeling with a fathomless meaning.

To forget someone once special is to find someone more special. But love sometimes comes from some strange places and it becomes beautiful when two strange people with individual differences come to accept each other and genuinely fall in love. Superficial love based on physical attraction may not last, but a relationship founded on a higher level is bound for eternity. It is a match made in heaven, supposed to be! Alas! They could have the right love, unfortunately at the wrong time for one is already committed.

Emotional entanglement is one of the most difficult situations to handle in case of an eventual break up. It is truly devastating much worse than a physical involvement. Cases of emotional infidelity often occur and this is merely on the emotional level. Physical chastity is still maintained while emotions deep inside the lovers concerned are erupting and outpouring.

If you love someone, you have to nurture it and let it flourish with mutual respect and understanding of the other persons shortcoming and misgivings. If only pure and unconditional love prevails, then there shall be no room for such clandestine relationship. Everything on this planet is subject to constant change and it is only change that remains constant and the inevitability of emotional infidelity.

About the Author:

Emotional infidelity is among the rather sad realities that some couples need to deal with. The effects may vary to a certain degree but for sure it can be a devastating one. If you wish to learn more about it, just visit www.relationshiptrust.com

How To Make Up With A Loved One

Joanne Weir — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 22:50:20 +0000

by Joanne Weir

Making up can be one of the best things to happen in your life, or the worst. You must first take a few steps in order to make sure everything is in perfect conditions to make up with someone, or to get them back to you. It is important that you think long and hard about what you are trying to do and how you will do it. All the pain that comes after a break up or a sour relationship may just heal with time, but it may never heal unless you make peace with that person. Making peace can help improve your life but there are somethings to keep in mind before you attempt this.

Regardless of how things used to be between you two you need to take a few steps back and regard everything with a 3rd perspective eye and keep things in that perspective. Allowing emotion to overtake you will only cause more problems. So keep these following things in mind.

1. Do not be a pathetic loser who crawls back on their hands and knees to the stronger one. You want to have the upper hand and not be cowering and desperately seeking resolution to the conflict that arose. If you NEED this resolution, then its not time for you to go back and try to solve it as you can’t fix something when you yourself are not fixed. Crawling back can make you look pathetic and make the person less likely to find you a better person, they simply may take pity on you which is not how you want to live.

2. You must first find peace with yourself in order to find peace with the relationship. If you aren’t in a good mood or you cannot find contentment in your life as it is, you should consider waiting or finding something to distract you before you go back to the person to reconcile things. We all can’t be who we want to be, but we can be good people and be content with how things are, once you accept that you will be ready to go back.

3. Accept the fact that it may not work out. This is why step 1 and 2 are so important, if it comes down to it and your past friend or lover refuses to have anything to do with you, you must accept this and move on. It makes it a lot easier to accept this when your life is already in order and you do not NEED this person in your life to be happy, it would simply improve an already content and fulfilled existence.

4. Be careful, be cautious in your approach. Figure out what exactly made things wrong and do your best to either fix that problem, or come up with a way to explain it to the other person as to why it happened and why it will never happen again. You want things to work, then you need to prove it to the other person and to yourself that they will work.

5. Make sure that YOU yourself are ready. Are you trying to get back together with someone who made your life miserable but you can’t live without them? Maybe its better to wait and find someone else to distract you before you rashly run back into the other persons arms.

About the Author:

To read more about relationships, check out Magic Of Making Up. Also, check out How To Make Up With blog that helps you make up with a loved one or an ex.

Signs Of A Cheating Girlfriend: In Your Heart – Suspicions.

Octavien Remillard — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 14:40:34 +0000

by Octavien Remillard

Sick and tired of leaving the house each day, not knowing if your girlfriend is going to cheat on you? Are you wary of being intimate with her for fear that she has slept with someone else and could be passing something on to you? It seems as though everyone knows what your girlfriend is up to except you. End the humiliation by learning to pick up on the signs of a cheating girlfriend. No more whispering behind hands and pitying looks!

The torment wont end until you know the truth, ALL of it. Next are some of the ways of getting concrete evidence without her finding out about your investigation!

Signs Of A Cheating Girlfriend: Keeping It All Hush-Hush. A computer is a silent servant but it yields its secrets if you know how to twist its tail. If your girlfriend is cheating on you, whom she communicates with and what is said becomes of critical importance for her to hide. Therefore, take note if she decides to move her computer to a different location. Another indication of foul play is her changing or adding a password to her files. Does she get upset when you go near the computer when she is using it? Why would she do that? In fact, intentionally disturbing her when she is online is a good way of getting a feel for what she is doing.

To surprise her with your presence when she is online is to read her like a book. If she is startled at your sudden appearance and uses lightning reflexes to close her browser, it a pretty good bet that you just interrupted a love conversation. What other reason could there be for all the secrecy? There is likely a very good reason why she wont open up about her activities.

Signs Of A Cheating Girlfriend: Shes Changed So Much! A good sign that her heart and mind are no longer focused on you is a change in her personal habits. Chat lines become very busy after dark and before dawn. If she comes to bed late or is up very early, it would surely be interesting to find out who she is talking to and what the subject of the conversation is. Her off-hour talks with her new love interest will tire her out. There will be little time or interest in intimacy or communication with you.

Signs Of A Cheating Girlfriend: Where Did The Neat, Clean Girl You Fell In Love With Go? A love affair online takes a lot of time. Dishes tend to pile up in the sink where before they were washed twice a day. The laundry piles up and remains undone as she spends more and more time on the computer. Youre mentioning the changes in the cleanliness of the house earns you a look of disgust and nothing more. This decline in the cleanliness of the household could be caused by a change in what she views as important. The time she spends away from her duties will cost you and your relationship with her.

There is a long list of indications of online affairs but this short sampling should clue you in.

Signs Of A Cheating Girlfriend: Gathering Evidence Despite The Miles. If your girlfriend works far away, it is real easy for doubts and fears to grow in your mind. Even the mildest desire on her part can grow into a burning desire because there is almost no chance of her getting caught. This is especially true if there are a lot of miles and/or an international boundary between the two of you. Loneliness and normal physical desire could conspire to ignite in her an intense desire for physical and emotional closeness which you cant give her from so far away.

I guess this is why they call relationships “blind faith”. There are no guarantees what is happening, so you have to rely on your instincts and faith. But what happens when this is not enough? What happens when the faith you have in your relationship is not enough to overcome your lingering fears?

Signs Of A Cheating Girlfriend: For You – Resisting Retaliation. After the initial shock that it could even be happening, many men vow payback, revenge, and one of the more common reactions in terms of payback is the temptation to have an affair in retaliation.

It would be criminal to accuse her of cheating and then find out you were wrong. You have to make sure!

Will having sex with someone else take the pain away from you? Will you feel vindicated and that revenge was called for and good and right? Or, will it be one of those things that dogs you for years afterward, one of those things that fills you with burning regret and remorse every time you think about it? It is not for me to judge a revenge affair. Only you can do that. I am just advising you to think it through carefully as you face infidelity in your relationship.

If it is something that you are seriously contemplating, have you given it enough thought? How are you going to feel at the moment you are cheating on your girl? How are you going to feel after? Can you live with the knowledge and the consequences of your actions?

Signs Of A Cheating Girlfriend: You Have To FIND OUT FOR SURE!

These are just a few of the major indicators of a cheating girlfriend. There are a number of gadgets and techniques you can employ and tailor to fit the specifics of your situation. All that is required is an open mind and a willingness to try.

The answer is closer than you think.

“How To Catch a Cheating Girlfriend” is a system of quality ebooks covering tips and methods to uncover your cheating partner to advice for couples in crisis. Also included is bonus tracking software Sherlock Pro, which tracks screencaps, websites visited, and keylogs. This ebook and software package is a comprehensive system for men that want proof of infidelity or peace of mind. You can learn more about how to catch your cheating girlfriend at:How To Catch Your Cheating Girlfriend.

About the Author:

For further advice and information, read about the How to Catch a Cheating Girlfriend tool, by online expert Sarah Paul.Signs Of A Cheating Girlfriend.

satori — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 04:34:17 +0000

The sad truth is that most of us fall in love for the wrong reason. We bring a partner into our lives to fulfil our need for love, and it is this outward focus that creates all our problems. What we really do is ‘fall in need’, rather than ‘fall in love’. This creates a dependence on our partners – we rely on their presence in our lives, to make us happy. As I discovered in my marriage, this near total dependence on another person was a recipe for disaster. I suffered so much when my wife left me because I had to face the emptiness and lack of self-love within me. Although I was completely unaware of it at the time, that emptiness had been there long before I met my wife. If you have ever suffered the agony of losing somebody close to you, then you have experienced those feelings of dependency. I have seen many people repeatedly fall in love and lose it again until they become cynical about romantic relationships and give up on relationships all together. The problem is that when this happens they also give up on life as well.

There is another way of looking at love that takes us in a healing direction. Although our romantic relationships may begin for all the wrong reasons, we must not become cynical about them because they show us the true nature of love and can help us to reveal the real us. As we fall in love we see our potential for successful relationships and for a life full of love. In the honeymoon phases of a relationship we see only the best in our partners and feel really good about ourselves. The truth is that we don’t have to restrict these feelings to the start of a relationship – we could be this happy and fulfilled at any moment in our lives.

To see how this might be, let’s look at the process of falling in love in a more positive way. Can you remember what it felt like when you fell in love? Think back to those heady days when you couldn’t stop thinking about your partner. Do you remember how perfect he or she seemed, how totally in tune they were with you and how connected you felt? You probably spent hours looking into each others eyes, talking endlessly and making love with wild abandon. It was all so easy.

It was this way because you allowed yourself to fall in love – during that time you let go of all your fears and negative ideas about yourself and the world. You opened yourself up to all the love that was available. You poured love on your partner and they poured love on you. Crucially you also received each other’s love without question. These romantic experiences show you what it is like to be free of our fear and insecurity and experience your true capacity for love and joy in a committed relationship.

The key to understanding what happens when you fall in love is to recognize that nothing new comes to you. The love was waiting beneath your fear and negative self-beliefs and it showed up when you let them go. When you fell in love it seemed that your partner was making you feel happy but what really happened was that you gave yourself permission to be happy. In that moment you made a subconscious choice to feel good. It is critically important in your understanding of relationships to appreciate that, no matter how much love your partner gave you when you fell in love, the good feelings were already present in you, before you met. The romantic process simply allowed you to access your natural capacity for love. What’s really exciting about understanding love in this way, is that you can find it again at any point in your life, without depending on another person’s presence or behavior.

As you can see, when we understand love in this way it transforms our relationships and our lives. Suddenly we realize that love isn’t an emotion that comes and goes – it is a description of our very essence. Love is who we are.

This profoundly different understanding of love explains so much about our romantic experiences and about life itself. We realise that our positive experiences within relationships are not determined by the amount of love we are given by another person but by the amount of love we can embrace – the amount that we can reveal our loving essence. Of course it is wonderful to find somebody who loves us, but this is valueless if we are unable to receive it. When we or our partner has low self-esteem, we do not know ourselves as love, and it is in this situation that fear and anxiety fills the void. We just won’t let ourselves feel love or be loved.

If we are honest, few of us believe that we are 100% complete when it comes to love. Even if we find somebody to love us and temporally fulfill our need, this does nothing to heal the underlying low self-esteem. It makes us dependent and highly vulnerable to loss in the future. Our neediness for love becomes very unattractive and through all manner of negative behaviors, we drive our partners away. The irony is that we have gone out into the world to find something that we have had all along! Of course, the key question to ask is why we would ever deny our true, loving identity. It seems crazy that we would turn away from something that is so life-enhancing. The astonishing truth is that we turn away from love because we are afraid of it.

When it comes to love, we are our own worst enemies! It is time to recognize our fear of love and intimacy and to begin to embrace it more fully in our lives. To do this we must dismantle the self-imposed barriers to the love that is waiting for us beneath our fear. The rewards will be extraordinary.

Content